“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.”
The horrid truth from above is very well expressed by the movie “Trainspotting”. We are all drawn in a society whirlpool that negates our inner being, our feelings anddreams. A society that transforms all beings into trained soldiers of Capitalism, Communism or whatever fucking other –ism. We play family, we simulate love, just for fear of being rejected and ostracized.
I’ve been there already and tried them all, losing my true self in every drop of conformity to laws designed by a terrible society, centered on stabilizing the masses for the greater good of a few rulers. My biggest failure in the eye of a perverted society was probably the incapacity to shape a family. Been there twice already until my mid 30s and the only good thing that came out of my attempts was a beautiful baby girl who owns most of my heart and soul.
The mirror that I explored soon after my 2nd failed attempt, with the purpose to find out what is wrong with me, expressed clearly that there were no flaws or mistakes. The only wrong thing in my picture was what I was looking for and dreamed of.
Aristippus, a pupil of Socrates, founded a philosophy called hedonism, which centers on maximizing the net pleasure, preaching it as the only intrinsic good. Although I never was a religious being, I find this religion as the missing piece in my puzzle. There were instinctive attempts to embrace it ever since my adolescence, yet the perfidious rules were crushing them rapidly.
I’ve evolved in a month more than in 5 years of marriage. People’s personality is a sum of past experiences and people that transferred to you a part of themselves. The women that I’ve known in the past month managed to dazzle my spirit and mind, to incite my senses in a way beyond speech.
I will not put aside the wonderful sexual moments that I lived in these 30 days. The energy that I absorbed from the experiences with most of these women was far superior to the 2 above mentioned marriages. The net pleasure was well above past events.
“It’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.”
The lines from American beauty can be assumed by anyone capable of a strong introspection, followed by a redefinition of personal strategy. I’ve been there and I look forward to what my new religion will bring. No plans, no more constraints or stupid principles. I live for the hunt of pure pleasure.
Cumandfornication 